Highlights:
- Top 5 Stupidest Drinking Tips Overheard at a Party
- “Clearer” alcohols are better than darker ones
- Hard liquor has the least calories, but it’s more important what you mix or chase with
- When you’re inebriated, you may think you’re warm when you’re really cold
- Coffee and a cold shower will do nothing to sober you up
- Saving calories to drink them later is becoming an unhealthy eating disorder
- Cal Poly students reveal the stupidest drinking tips they’ve ever heard
I was taught in preschool that there is no such thing as a stupid question. I’ve since learned in college that there is such a thing as stupid advice. Need proof? This weekend, I went party hopping (for research purposes only, of course), and I overheard a lot of stupid advice. All of these are direct quotes from, I’m sure, well-intentioned and, I’m positive, slightly inebriated students.
Presenting the Top 5 Stupidest Drinking Tips Overheard at a Party…
Stupid Tip #5:
“It’s vodka, so you can’t get a hangover.”
Actually, this one is based on a truth. Studies have shown that dark alcohol produces worse hangovers than clear alcohol because of the congeners. In the battle of good versus evil, vodka, is considered a better, “clearer” alcohol than, say, bourbon.
But to suggest that it’s impossible to get a hangover from vodka is barroom blasphemy. The severity of a hangover is related to the amount you drink, how quickly you drink it, the blood alcohol level you reach, and dehydration.
Ask anyone who has spent one too many hours feeling Absolut-ly awful the morning after, and they’ll tell you: You can most definitely get a hangover from vodka.
Stupid Tip #4:
“Tequila has the least calories. Drink this margarita.”
Sure, a shot of hard liquor is going to get you the most bang for your buck, the fewest calories for the amount of alcohol. However, a jigger of hard alcohol – regardless of whether it’s tequila, vodka, or rum – will be around 100 calories. If you’re looking to “get drunk not fat,” this site shows the calorie to alcohol ratio of different beverages.
More important than the type of hard alcohol is what it’s mixed or chased with. If you chase a shot by gulping down a cup of soda or glass of sugary juice, you’re looking at an extra 100 calories… at least. In this case, a margarita, typically made with sugary triple sec and sour mix, will average around 300 calories per serving.
Keep in mind that a serving is one. Remember the last time you went loco with some margaritas at a fiesta? Sure. Remember the last time you had just one margarita? Never.
On the other hand, a 12 oz. light beer is around 100 calories. (To be specific, frat favorite Keystone Light is 104.)
Still, the best way to watch your midsection is moderation. Limit your alcohol intake, and be aware of your mixers and chasers. Hard alcohol mixed with diet tonic water or no-cal soda are your best bets. If you can hang, taking a shot straight up (like a champ) will have the fewest calories.
Still worried about a beer belly?
Guess what has zero calories, health benefits, and will leave you hangover-free? Water.
Stupid Tip #3:
“Drink more before you walk back to campus so you get a liquid layer and aren’t cold.”
You know how alcohol made you THINK that guy across the room looked like James Franco? It also makes you THINK you’re warmer.
The reason you get that warm, red tint in the face is because alcohol causes your blood vessels to dilate, bringing them closer to the surface of the skin, actually making your body get colder, faster.
Also, getting extra inebriated before walking by the police and returning to RAs is an obvious no-no. Sean McMinn, a journalism sophomore and Yosemite resident advisor, said, “It’s pretty obvious when a resident comes back to the res hall drunk. I’d rather make sure that they’re safe than get them in trouble, so I always make sure they get to bed okay.”
Know where else you’ll be warm? In the drunk tank.
Stupid Tip #2:
“Just drink a hot cup of coffee and take a shower, and you’ll sober up.”
Contrary to popular belief, caffeine is not magic.
Give a buzzed person a cup of Joe and a cold shower, and all you’ll have is a shivering wet, wide-awake drunk.
You sober up when your blood alcohol content lowers. Shockingly, caffeine and cold water can’t miraculously lower your BAC.
Let’s do the math. Folklore suggests that alcohol (a depressant) and coffee (a stimulant) will cancel each other out. If this equation makes sense, then recreationally snorting some cocaine (an upper) and injecting a heavy dosage of heroin (a downer) would result in sunshine and unicorns. In actuality, it will probably lead to the morgue. To review… tipsy + coffee = still tipsy. Tipsy + shower = still tipsy. Tipsy + time = sober.
Stupid Tip #1:
“Save up your calories and then drink them later. It will make you skinny.”
No. It will make you puke.
It’s called drunkorexia, but I prefer the term stupidity.
The Poly Perspective:
Jake Fuller, a second year business major, woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning around this time last year.
“It was Halloween weekend, and I went to a house to pregame. I had about seven or eight shots in an hour and, as I was walking out of the front door, it began to rain, and that was the last thing I remember. Then I woke up in a hospital.”
– Jake Fuller, business sophomore
Fuller’s friends did the right thing by taking him to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. If a friend is in trouble, the hospital is a safe zone. Don’t delay seeking medical attention. Any student who helps a friend seek treatment for alcohol poisoning will not get in trouble.
“My friend ended up in the emergency room one weekend because he got punched in the face, then the drunk tank because he passed out in the middle of the street, and then back in the hospital for alcohol poisoning,” Leah Yukelson, a second year business major, said.
“If you make a mistake, change your habits, learn your lesson, and SLO down.”
– Leah Yukelson, business sophomore
What’s the stupidest drinking tip you’ve ever heard?
“The biggest myth about drinking is that beer is less intoxicating than other types of alcoholic beverages.”
– Alex Block, construction management sophomore
“Beer before liquor, or however it goes…. I’ve never seen it be fulfilled. It depends on how much you drink, not the order or type of alcohol.”
– Bryan Breverman, business junior
“Drinking alcohol to cure a hangover. Or, liquor before beer and you’re in the clear… You’re never really in the clear with alcohol.”
– Megan Grossman, nutrition junior
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